Emotional Intelligence Allows Us to Learn How to Relax Into the Now
The importance of self-discovery is a long, long list. The benefits of self-discovery are many, and there are also a lot of self-discovery techniques that can be used on our journeys. In this article, I want to talk about relaxing into the now.
What does that mean?
And, what does the word relax mean?
Here’s a new way of looking at that word ‘relax’ and what it means from my perspective.
I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but it never landed well on me when people told me to “relax” in that “your energy is too strong” kind of way. I used to get that a lot when I was in the mode of pushing and forcing things to happen.
The truth of the matter is that I simply didn’t want to relax. I was searching for something and had that feeling that if only I kept pushing for it, I’d find it. If you’ve read my book, Dear Vulnerable (going back onto Amazon soon) then you know the havoc that all of that pushing and forcing wreaked on me in that season of my life.
But what of relaxation?
I’m not referring to a lovely afternoon walk along the beach or a deep tissue massage. While those are wonderful ways to spend some downtime, in this context when I mention the word relax, I am specifically referring to relaxing into a season. A season being a particular time period in life or a new chapter of life.
I’ve certainly gotten better at being able to do this, but I still acknowledge that I have a little nagging feeling that makes me think I'm missing something. A feeling that I should be doing more and more because time is passing quickly and I get this nagging feeling that there won’t be enough of it to do everything I want in my life.
However, the more I write and teach about emotional intelligence and emotional awareness, the more I understand that being able to relax into the space of the now is critical to emotional growth. Giving in to that constant anxious quest of what’s next is a recipe for the inability to learn from the current state of your life.
Our eyes get fixed on seeking out what’s wrong as an excuse to give in to the what’s next, what’s new, and what’s better type of anxiety that can overwhelm us.
So much learning comes from relaxing into our current state. It allows us to do a full assessment of our strengths and weaknesses in preparation for the natural unfolding of our journey. If we fail to engage in a full assessment of our strengths and weaknesses at various times and places along the journey then how then can we connect to that person that we want to become? And as a next step, how can we make the self-corrections that are necessary to get there successfully?
A significant element of emotional intelligence is the ability to make these critical self-corrections and avoid bringing the same mistakes into every stage of our lives. I used to interpret that message when someone would tell me to relax as an effort to squash my natural abilities to juggle and move in several directions at any given time. Doing the work to relax into the now allows me to appreciate the gentle nudges and reminders that come my way.
It allows me to take the opportunity to self-correct, grow in my emotional intelligence, and prepare myself for the wonderful lessons that keep coming my way.
How can you better relax into the now?
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