Do you every wonder how being vulnerable can change your life? I'm here to share with you that vulnerability can make our lives better!
That's me in George, South Africa on a speaking engagement being vulnerable in the conversation and sharing my message of how being vulnerable can make our lives better! - Jada Berteaux
Many wonder how to be vulnerable, and there are many definitions of what being vulnerable means. As we all move forward on our self-discovery journeys this is a topic that comes up often.
From the overpass of my life, I look down and see vulnerability swimming rapidly toward me. That has not always been the case. For most of my womanhood, vulnerability was swimming away from me and, if I could, I would have attached a motor to its back so that it could swim away even faster. I was in the opposite space of vulnerability. I was working from the space of being impenetrable- that which is impossible to pass through or enter.
I allowed no one to truly pass through or enter the spaces of my heart or spirit. I was not living, only existing. Terrified of feeling the full range of emotions that becoming more vulnerable allows. Though sometimes afraid of the unknown, I am no longer impenetrable. I allow people into the spaces of my heart and my spirit. Sometimes I get hurt but the space of vulnerability allows that emotion to pass through and become part of the positive energy that I seek to put out into the world.
The feelings and emotions that I have allowed into my heart mean that I am alive. I am alive. Imagine yourself to be impenetrable. How much life force does it take to keep everything from entering your heart? That’s enough to make anybody ill, enraged, frustrated and any number of states that come from being impenetrable in that constant battle.
So how can you assess this in your own life? Take your time to understand the roots of your impenetrability. Stop and look at how you relate to yourself and to others.
Does anyone really know you?
When is the last time you just sat and let an emotion live within you without feeling the desperate need to block it?
What would happen if you allow someone to really know you?
Recently, I had a conversation with a colleague who I’ve only known for a short time and have only had a few conversations. We are of different ethnic backgrounds but similar emotional backgrounds. That is, through the conversation, we realized we both had trained ourselves to be impenetrable. Today, we find ourselves in the same place talking to one another in encouraging ways. We didn’t share every detail of our lives but we both had grown to understand that sharing the trials and triumphs of our own stories builds trust and understanding. Throughout our conversation, I could feel my own tears and I could feel him wanting to let his flow as well. We understood this of each other. We chose to be vulnerable with one another standing in support of our common experiences.
Vulnerability is not sharing the personal details of your life with anyone who will listen. Vulnerability is, instead, allowing heart and spirit space to allow sharing and connection to happen when appropriate opportunities arise. I didn’t plan on this connection between me and my colleague, but being in the open space of my heart and spirit, the connection happened. We were both filled with more joy and inner peace because of it, and I know our conversations (and trust) will only continue to grow.
Being vulnerable is to be alive. Alive and open to the full range of emotions that come with letting others into your heart. Yes, we must be careful because our vulnerability is a gift. But there are people who genuinely want to know you and share in your journey.
Being vulnerable has made my life better in the following ways:
- I allow trust and understanding to grow with people in my life
- I share abundant positive energy
- I feel more alive and less insecure
- My authenticity continues to mature
- My core values are more clear
- New possibilities ignite excitement instead of the fear that something is wrong
- Guilt and shame are diminished
Vulnerability sharpens our ability to choose more wisely and if we get hurt, we are not devastated because we are filled with the goodness of those who truly appreciate the gifts of vulnerability.
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